Weirdest dream to wake me up in years: I’m sitting in a chair immobilized/locked in–by what is unclear. Sitting to my left is the 45th and he’s just droning on and on about how he is so misunderstood. Then he gets a call on his cell–he answers it and starts speaking Russian. It becomes obvious he’s talking about me as while he moves away and across the space he leers at me while saying “da da”.

I finally manage to focus enough and splutter out “sod off you ass hole”. The45th enrages, drops the phone and moves towards me threateningly, but I find by uttering those words I can now move freely again, so I leave my seat and face him. 

He’s short, so much shorter than expected and so much fatter–it’s like he’s a giant gluttonous baby. He starts to scream obscenities and rushes towards me. He reaches in snarling and attempting to grab my girly bits so I reach over him and pull on what is apparently his hair. The mass is sticky and brittle and feels like old taffy. The 45th begins to scream in horror and my fingers are firmly stuck in the mess so I tug to to free myself and the whole head just pops off like some gender swapping gorgon. No blood, no gore–the body just staggers about a bit before collapsing in a heap like a robot toy out of juice. But the horrible screaming snake-ridden head goes silent finally.

Then I awoke.

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Originally published March 20, 2017 over at stega.org but it when doing site tidying there I realized it should have been moved here ages ago.